


The Life of A Hunter

by DeadlyKittenKay (PrettyBlueIz)



Series: Promptober 2017 [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Mentions of other Supernatural Characters - Freeform, Past Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 07:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12476660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBlueIz/pseuds/DeadlyKittenKay
Summary: Being a hunter means no attachments. No attachments mean that the evil won't have bait.





	The Life of A Hunter

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the inktober/pomptober 10/8/17 Crooked
> 
> No beta ... all errors are my own

Living the life that Dean has lived makes certain things unobtainable, or even just pipe dreams. He could never have a family in the traditional sense of the word. Sure he can adopt people into his family, forever living with the words of wisdom his Uncle Bobby once told him about how family doesn’t end with blood. That’s how he’s had sisters like Joanna Beth, Charlie, even Aunts like Ellen and Jody -- who incidentally is both a sister and an aunt depending on if she uses her mom voice. 

He’s had nieces in the Alex and Krissy. A daughter in Claire. And more brothers thanks to Kevin, Garth, and Benny. 

But he would never be able to ‘sow his oats’ or expand the Winchester family tree. He would never take a wife. Never watch her grow with his child inside her. He would never get to experience the first flutter of movement as the baby within kicks or cut the umbilical cord and hear “Congratulations! It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” He’ll never go to sports games to cheer his kid on. Never teach them the importance of regular maintenance to keep your engine running just as smooth as the day you bought the car. And much to his relief, he’ll never have to deal with the mood swings, the broken hearts, the betrayed feelings. Everything that comes with a teenager.

Looking back on his life, it doesn’t really bother him that he won’t have the apple pie life. He’s tried that. For a year he lived in a home with a woman he thought he loved. For a year he helped teach and discipline another man’s child. For a year he was just Dean Winchester, a local contractor. 

But that year, that year was a year of lies. He played a role. He did damn good at if you ask him, but he always saw it was working a job. One of the longest jobs in the history of his life. He never felt like he could relax. Like he could enjoy sharing a bed with Lisa. Like his opinion with Ben really mattered. If anything, he filled a void for them, like he was trying to do.

That’s the thing about being a hunter. You can’t have attachments in the life. The minute you do, they become bait so that the big bad can get one over on you. Dean’s learned this the hard way several times over. Not only with Lisa and Ben. But with his mother. With Sam. Even watching it happen to Sam twice. First with Jessica. Then with Eileen.

Dean’s not stupid. He knows bringing anyone who isn’t a hunter, into the life is basically a death sentence. Hell, the only reason why he believes Claire made it this long is because she has Castiel’s word to protect her.

That’s the other thing about this life. Friendships are harder to keep. Only because once again, your friend becomes bait. And you have to make the hard choice. Sacrifice one for all, or all for one.

As much as Dean is okay with the fact that he can’t have the apple pie life, he’s also tired. Tired of running from the truth. Tired of running from happiness. Sure he made a promise that he would never bring someone else into the life, just so he could have an intimate connection. But what happens when that person is already a part of the lifestyle?

Maybe that’s what made whatever happened with Cas, happen. Castiel, an angel of the lord. Soldier of God, once told Dean while he was practically dying that he loved him. This angel, this being with such impossible strength, who had seen the dawn of time, had picked the saddest specimen of human he possibly could and latched on to him. Has risen him from the pits of hell -- both metaphorically and literally. Rebuilt his soul and his heart and even with all the pain, death, and destruction, he has caused for the good of mankind. The good of Earth, the angel still wants Dean.

And dear god, Dean wants it too. He wants to have the intimacy Cas offers him. Not just the physical but the emotional. He wants to be able to lean into Cas’ touch after his bones are weary and worn down. He wants to feel the slide of skin against skin when they narrowly survived another hunt. Wants to feel the hold, the embrace, the  _ love _ and the  _ relief _ that he’s returned. 

And that’s what Castiel gives Dean. He’s far more than a guardian angel to Dean. He is life, love, peace, and  _ home _ . Dean craves the crooked smiles when he’s being an idiot. He longs for the exasperated way Castiel says his name when he thinks Dean is being reckless or foolish. He relishes in the sleepy morning kisses and the way Castiel seems to created his own map of Dean’s body, not letting him up until each mark has been met. 

Most of all Dean longs for the nights of quiet where all he needs is Castiel by his side. The constant reminder that the dorky little guy will always be by his side. 


End file.
